The word worthiness gets thrown around a lot – especially in the world of coaching where I hang out.

So let’s define it – according to the dictionary , self worth is: the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person

Saying “I’m unworthy” is a belief and it can feel so so true.

Here’s the thing though: we’re all born worthy – every little baby born in a hospital any where any time is 100% worthy right – how could they NOT be?

So what happens?

Why do we go from being a fresh beautiful worthy baby ….

… to an unworthy adult

Well, life happens – we get ridiculed or teased in the school yard

… we get in trouble from a teacher,

… our first love breaks our heart

… a parent abandons us

… a friend rejects us

… we have trauma

Socialisation happens – we have the media, TV and movies, the partriarchy all telling us what we should have, what we should look like, how we should behave, what success looks like – and if we – god forbid – fall short – we end up feeling unworthy.

We think something’s wrong with us.

We compare ourselves to other people who we THINK have it all together.

None of things that happen to us truly take away our worthiness.

They really don’t.

We just think they do, we FEEl that they do

Now – you could also have trauma, and your feeling unworthy could be a trauma response – this trauma sits in in our nervous system – and simply trying to change our thoughts if we have trauma doesn’t always work – that’s where more embodied work comes in. Healing your trauma and in turn allowing you to feel worthy, from both you mind and your nervous system.

I love this analogy to demonstrate our worthiness, and I borrowed it from a psychologist I know:

We all have this Red Ruby inside of us, from the time we were born

And it shines BRIGHT

… and then life happens

And that Red Ruby which is our worthiness, gets dull and chipped over time, like I explained above.

But its always there inside of us.

And we can decide to shine that Ruby when we notice its been dulled by life

So my love – you are 100% worthy – you always have been and always will be.

Worthiness is our birth right.

No one can take that away from us.

Depending on where your feelings of unworthiness are stemmed from you can try belief work, journalling or affirmations, but if it’s deeper, if your unworthiness is from trauma or long-held conditioning, you might want some support.

This is the work that I do with my clients, taking an embodied approach to healing feeling unworthy, which means I work with you on both your mindset (your thoughts and beliefs), as well as your body and nervous system which is where trauma is stored.

Contact me here if you’d like to chat about getting some support and have me guide you to build your feeling of worth.

Hi there, I'm Kaia

This is my little corner of the internet where I share all things about creating a life you love.  A life of intent, not default, in your 40’s and beyond.  I believe that women in their 40’s are one of the greatest untapped resources of our time and I want to change that by helping you become more confident, and more brave than ever before.  Combining my numerous Coaching Certifications and life experience, I’m here to help you go after whatever it is you truly want and feel better than you have in a long time.



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