According to Tony Robbins, we have 6 human needs that drive our behaviour and shape our lives.

We must have each of these 6 needs fulfilled to some degree so that we feel fulfilled and happy.

Each of us will have more important needs and a different priority of the needs – and these are mostly formed in childhood

Understanding and fulfilling these needs can help us achieve greater personal and professional success, and create a more meaningful and fulfilling life….. and who doesn’t want that right?

So let’s unpack Tony Robbins’ 6 Human Needs:

Each of us will have more important needs and a different priority of the needs – and these are mostly formed in childhood

Understanding and fulfilling these needs can help us achieve greater personal and professional success, and create a more meaningful and fulfilling life….. and who doesn’t want that right?

So I invite you as I go through each of the needs, to reflect on your life and your relationships and see what need might be the most important for you.

You could also do it for your partner or kids.

Okay let’s go:

Certainty

This need is about our desire for security, stability, and predictability in our lives. We want to know that things will remain the same and that we can rely on them.

If certainty is one of your core needs, you need to feel secure and safe about the future.

In order to live a life filled with certainty, it has to stay the same, which is kinda impossible. So, you do your best to control your environment by avoiding new situations or people.

Here’s a clue to see if you might have certainty as your core need:

You are trustworthy and always do what you say you’ll do. You enjoy planning, thrive on a schedule and are really organized. You’re hesitant to take risks and have new experiences.

And if you think you may have certainty as your core need here’s how you could fulfill it. Create routines that feel good, set goals that are empowering, and i’d also encourage you to take risks and try out new experiences, just to push yourself a little

Variety (or Uncertainty)

This need is the opposite of certainty. It refers to our desire for novelty, excitement, and change. We want to experience new things and break out of our routine.

People with uncertainty as their core need can be those that takes things to the extreme, they might change jobs or relationships a lot, or the sake of variety…. or maybe take unnecessary risks to fill the need.

How to tell if variety is one of your core needs: You’re usually outgoing and like meeting new people. You’re always willing to do something new and have lots of interests. And you’re not averse to taking risk

How to fulfill a need for variety: Feed your mind regularly with a variety of new information. Change your exercise routine, eat new foods and take classes with new people.

Significance

This need refers to our desire to feel important, unique, and valuable. We want to be recognized and appreciated

That recognition provides you with a sense of validation that makes you feel seen, special and/or needed.

How to tell if significance is one of your core needs: You’re highly driven to be successful and love setting and reaching goals. Other people might tell you that you stand out. You might also be overly competitive, perfectionistic or dramatic.

How to fulfill a need for significance: Channel your competitive nature into healthy activities by learning something new or building a new skill.

Connection/Love

This need refers to our desire for social interaction, love, and companionship. We want to feel a sense of belonging and connection with others.

If connection/love is your top basic human need, you are constantly seeking out a close relationship with someone or something.

How to tell if connection is one of your core needs: Your top values are Loyalty and generosity with those you love . You give freely and people find you trustworthy. You have strong social ties, but you can sometimes lose your sense of self and find it hard to say “no.”

How to fulfill a need for connection: Be willing to be vulnerable and create deeper, more meaningful friendships. Communicate your needs to your partner to improve intimacy.

Growth

This need refers to our desire for personal development, learning, and self-improvement. We want to expand our knowledge, skills, and capabilities.

Those whose foremost core need is growth are always striving to be better and learn more. They are very good at their jobs, but tend to move on quickly as soon as they believe they’ve reached their full potential.

How to tell if growth is one of your core needs: You’re always pushing boundaries, both your own and those set for you by others and by society. You’re very independent and are not attached to material things.

How to fulfill a need for growth: by challenging yourself to not only learn, but truly master a difficult skill. Don’t forget emotional and spiritual growth:

Contribution

This need refers to our desire to make a difference in the world, to give back, and to help others. We want to feel like our lives have meaning and purpose beyond our own individual needs and desires.

How to tell if contribution is one of your core needs: You’re an extremely empathetic and compassionate person. You enjoy giving back and sharing what you have. You want to leave a legacy.

How to fulfill a need for contribution: Giving back is the best way to fulfill this need. Don’t just join a volunteer group – start your own. The closer the cause is to your heart, the more fulfilled you will feel.

Okay, which one of the needs can you most see in yourself?

Certainty

Uncertainty or variety

Significance

Connection

Growth

Contribution

It’s interesting to know, that many of your behaviours are based on which of your needs are, or are not, being met.

I have someone in my life who’s primary need is SIGNFICANCE and I see her behaviour around it all the time. I used to judge it and find her behaviour annoying but once I learned about these 6 needs I understood and let my judgement and annoyance go, and just let her show up as her.

Certainty for me is a big one, perhaps my top need, and my focus this year is to lean into and surrender more to uncertainty, i’m learning and trying new things i’ve never done before and it’s uncomfortable but I want to do it, for my growth, which is another of my top needs.

What about you?

What do you think is your top 1-2 needs?

How do you think you behave to meet these needs?

It’s also good to know your partners’ top couple of needs too, to help you better understand them and potentially improve your relationship. In fact the same can be said for any relationship.

I’ll leave you to reflect on these questions and perhaps grab a journal out and do some journalling on them.

If you’re feeling stuck in life, if you notice yourself in self sabotaging patterns, contact me and let’s chat about how I can help you.