If you want to figure out how to know what your purpose in life is keep reading.

Purpose is defined as the “reason why something exists” – your purpose then, is the reason why YOU exist.

And when we think about our purpose, we often think it needs to be something big, something grand. We think of people like Mother Theresa, Ghandi, or people who build orphanages in Africa or Thailand.

Our brain tells us that we need to figure it out, that it better be good, it had better help the planet or those less fortunate. It had better matter, so we can justify our existence.

And we think that when we accomplish the “thing”, that it’ll make us feel a certain way.

Okay purpose box ticked.

We feel like our life will then be worth something. Like we’ve arrived

So we spend time wondering what our purpose could be, maybe even feeling pressured to find the “one thing”.

We kind of like the idea of saving the world, but then life gets in the way ….

We think we find it when we become a mum or we find a career we love. And for some people that’s it, that’s their purpose, but for others we become a mum and realise that that’s not it.

Or we land in a career only to discover that nope, that’s not it either.

For me, even though all I ever wanted was to be a mum, I still craved something else outside of that.

Here’s the thing: we don’t need or have to go searching for our one purpose for being here in this lifetime.

What if I told you that you were worthy just for being YOU.

Just for being born.

That no amount of “doing”, whether its building orphanages, raising money for charity, or taking in foster children, none of it is going to make you more worthy

You don’t need to be more worthy, because you were born worthy and that never changes.

We are all worthy, every single human on this planet.

What if I told you that WHO you are is sooo much more important than WHAT you do……

We grow up and we have these built-in beliefs, ones we didn’t consciously choose. From our parents, our schooling or perhaps our religion, and we tend to take these on as our own without question.

We’re led to believe that life should follow a particular path. We to go to school, then go to University, get married, and have kids. That this is the way life “should be”. But your life can look however you want it to.

None of it is required, we don’t have to do any of it.

So it’s time my friend, especially as you face an empty nest. Time to wipe the slate clean and make your own decisions about the purpose of your life in the way you believe it to be true.

Take a step back.

Re-decide what you believe.

Question all of it. Every belief you have, about what life “should” look like. Yes even as a 40 or 50 year old. It’s never too late.

Question everything you were taught, everything you read, everything.

Beliefs like:

  • My life should look like focussing on my kids til they leave home THEN deciding what I want
  • My life should look like being married or having a partner
  • I should own my own home
  • I should be saving a nest egg for retirement
  • I should stay close to my elderly parents because they need me
  • I have to pay for my kids to go to University, it’s what parents do

These beliefs I’ve just shared aren’t wrong or bad, but they’re not right or good either. They’re just beliefs.

And you know what beliefs are?

Beliefs are purely a thought that been practiced for so long it’s become a belief. It’s no longer questioned, it just IS. It’s like reporting on the weather, it’s fact.

Once you uncover your beliefs about life, ask yourself: Am I interpreting these in a way that serves my life, that makes me feel like i’m worthy, just the way I am? Do I want to continue believing these and living my life by them?

It’s time to remove the pressure of having to do something important with your life in order to justify your existence.

Your only required job is to purely to exist.

You don’t have to be better than you already are.

I’ll say it again and let it sink in, you don’t have to be better or different than you already are and you certainly don’t need to DO anything to prove that.

Let’s go back to worthiness, because it’s super important.

You didn’t have to try to earn it or work at being worthy

You don’t have to do or be “all the things” to be worthy.

You don’t need to do a damn thing, you’re worthy because you exist.

We don’t need to earn more worthiness and we don’t lose worthiness either.

Worthiness is absolute.

Imagine that when you’re born, you had this beautiful gem inside of you, imagine it’s a red ruby.

That red ruby that your born with, is your worthiness


It may get a bit tarnished through life’s ups and downs but that red ruby is always there

So if your worthiness is never in question. The reason you should want to do more, help more or be more is to make you FEEL a certain way, not so that you “arrive” or become worthy.

There is:

Who you are, which is absolute.

And then there’s What you do.

You are already worthy, loveable and capable.

Have I said that enough already?

I REALLY want you to hear it, because for us women in particular, our worthiness so often gets tied to what we do, how we show up for our families and friends, how we behave, how hard we work, whether we’re the good girl or not.

So now what?

If you’re already worthy for just being you.

And you don’t need to decide on a purpose to make you more worthy, because that’s not possible….

If you wanted to, you still could decide to make yourself and/or the world better, simply because it’s an amazing experience, BUT only if you choose to.

Let’s imagine that shall we, let’s play with it a little….

What do you most want to do with your life?

With your time?

What will you do?

Where will you go?

Get clear on that, without the BS beliefs you’ve carried around for decades.

And then answer:

What is my purpose?

And then live that. You can always change it. Just don’t wait for some magic purpose to appear and land in your lap.

Your purpose could be something like:

To be an amazing mum

I want to make lots of money

I want to help build a school

I want to win

I want to be famous

I want to love

I want to create beautiful art

What would your one sentence be, if no one was watching? If it didn’t have to be altruistic?

Answer the questions I mentioned a little earlier.

Take 1-2 weeks MAX.

And decide on your purpose. Remember you can always change it.

Then come up with that 1 sentence.


If you’d like help figuring out your purpose, or what the heck you want your next step in life to be, contact me here

Hi there, I'm Kaia

This is my little corner of the internet where I share all things about creating a life you love.  A life of intent, not default, in your 40’s and beyond.  I believe that women in their 40’s are one of the greatest untapped resources of our time and I want to change that by helping you become more confident, and more brave than ever before.  Combining my numerous Coaching Certifications and life experience, I’m here to help you go after whatever it is you truly want and feel better than you have in a long time.



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